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W. C. Fields Quotes (1880-1946)
Actor
About W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields (29 January 1880 – 25 December 1946), born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American actor, comedian and juggler.
Best W. C. Fields Quotes
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful W. C. Fields quotes.
“Who knows what's funny?”
“She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave.”
“Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.”
“Some contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch ...”
“I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.”
“It was a woman who drove me to drink—and you know, I never bothered to thank her.”
“Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.”
“[To a waitress]] I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.”
“Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill? (the bartender replies: Yes) Oh, what a load is off my mind. I thought I LOST it! ithttps://theageofcomedy.laurelandhardycentral.com/bankdick.htmlhttps://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-the-bank-dick-1940https://www.hometheaterforum.com/the-bank-dick-blu-ray-review/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/comedy/comedians/wc-fields-a-master-of-comedy/”
“The story goes that a polite young lady journalist invited him to lunch at Chasen's in hope of a story. Lunch in his case was a liquid affair, and left him uncommunicative. Noticing the passion with which he shooed away the hovering waiter with the ice water jug, she seized an opening. "Mr. Fields, could you tell me the reason for your well-known aversion to water?" "Delighted, my dear," he replied with suddenly increased bonhomie. "Never touch the stuff—very unhealthy. Fish fuck in it."”
W. C. Fields Quotes by Topic
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W. C. Fields on Philadelphia
“Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.”
W. C. Fields on Drink
W. C. Fields on Meat
“I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.”
What W. C. Fields Said About Others
Discover personal opinions W. C. Fields shared regarding contemporaries.
Quotes About W. C. Fields
Gain deeper perspective through quotes about W. C. Fields from others.
Margaret Hamilton on W. C. Fields
“Bill Fields walked in the first day, reeking of liquor. He came over and apologized to me. Understand, I was in awe of his talents. I said, "Mr. Fields, on you it smells like eau de cologne," and he brightened up. A very sweet egomaniac.”
Howard Lachtman on W. C. Fields
“On the sauce, his saloon talk is wiser than My scholar's treatise. On the con, he outwits Himself, and yet portrays his downward spiral into Beefsteak mines, mansions in the Grampian Hills, Dollars falling from a sky blue as a copper chip. His mordant eye schemes afresh from every reverse. Why this sudden rapport with his profound failure To eat ice cream neatly, refill a flask unnoticed, Escape the flypaper floor of Baby Leroy's molasses? Jargon-mouthed, rum-rank-breathed, reprobate uncle. Your legacy of irrascible, bulbous disrepute is Far sweeter, I swear, than Phyllis's daffodils. W.C., I am staring you in the eye tonight. Only the gunning cars and lonely trains Punctuate our confrontation, you and I, Two confidence men on confidential terms.”
Misattributed Quotes
Quotes mistakenly credited to W. C. Fields
About W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields (29 January 1880 – 25 December 1946), born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American actor, comedian and juggler.