Portal 2 Quotes

“To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.”

“Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.”

“Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.”

“Warning: Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.”

“Template. [Turret: Hello?] Response. [Turret: Hello.]”

“Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.”

“The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.”

“At some point in their lives, one in six children will be abducted by the Dutch.”

“The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.”

“Wikipedia: Portal 2”

“The Official Portal 2 Site”

“Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.”

“The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.”

“In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.”

“Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.”

“Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.”

“Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.”

“In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.”

“During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.”

“William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.”