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Frankie Boyle Quotes (1972-)
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About Frankie Boyle
Frankie Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, known for his pessimistic and often crude sense of humour. He was a regular participant in the comedy panel show Mock the Week (2005β2009) and has made guest appearances on several other panel shows.
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Frankie Boyle quotes.
βThere is a vegetarian option: you can fuck off.β
βCan I just say, my routine about raping and f**β
βI do think that getting a dog says something about you, it says; I'm so lonely that I could pick up shit.β
βWhen I was about 8 or 9, I was a massive Michael Jackson fan and I wish I had known at the time that I was his type.β
βYou've got a blank face there pal, if you hold that expression for long enough in a hospital you'd get fucking switched off.β
βThere's two empty seats right middle - this is supposed to be sold out, where are they? I hope they're dead in a fucking car crash!β
βThey say that the Olympics is going to rekindle English national pride. I mean, for Β£9.2 billion they could have written βFuck off Germanyβ onto the moon.β
βDear points of view, watching "Queer eye for the straight guy" made me think that if I made gay friends, they'd give me fashion tips. Actually, they fucked me.β
βThe thing that nobody really said about Rebecca Adlington is that she looks pretty weird. She looks like someone who's looking at themselves in the back of a spoon.β
βPeople get the wrong idea about me, they think I'm depressed or something - I'm not depressed. I don't wish that I was dead, I wish... that you were all dead.β
β3 Million for the funeral of Margaret Thatcher? For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.β
β(Speaking about Pope Benedict XVI's resignation) The Pope must have done something that even the Catholic church found unacceptable. My theory is that he fucked an adult woman.β
β["Lines you wouldn't hear in a superhero movie"] What's that Joker, you'll be back? Somehow I don't think you will be.β
βThere's a place for McCanns jokes, it's probably here. It's probably not on Dictionary Corner on Countdown. "And as we go into the break, we'd like to remind you that MADDIE is an anagram of I'M DEAD."β
β["Lines you wouldn't hear in a superhero movie"] Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is it's heading straight for the World Trade Center!β
βMen don't have to assess women, that's why we can objectify them so quickly. On some level, we don't really give a fuck. A man can see a woman with a heavy cold and all he'd think would be "I would rattle that fucking phlegm loose."β
βI wish the Queen had died the night before the Royal Jubilee β I wish sheβd just fucking died. But they wouldnβt have been able to tell us that sheβd died. They would have had to hollow out her body and get that guy who plays Gollum to wear it.β
β[Talking about Richard Hammond's high-speed dragster crash] That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.[Mimicking Richard Hammond] "She was wearing black... or was it red? Am I married?"β
Frankie Boyle Quotes by Topic
Find exactly what you are looking for by browsing this categorized list of Frankie Boyle quotes by topic.
Frankie Boyle on Feminism
βPeople feel much more comfortable with the 50 Shades of Grey version of womenβs liberation: possibly feeling life would be much simpler if the suffragettes hadnβt wanted the vote and just really enjoyed chaining themselves to railings.β
What Frankie Boyle Said About Others
Discover personal opinions Frankie Boyle shared regarding contemporaries.
Frankie Boyle on Usain Bolt
βI thought Bolt was amazing, I mean, beating the world record and slowing down at the end, how galling has that got the for the other athletes? I never managed to do anything in 9.69 seconds, it took me ten seconds to watch him do that.β
About Frankie Boyle
Frankie Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, known for his pessimistic and often crude sense of humour. He was a regular participant in the comedy panel show Mock the Week (2005β2009) and has made guest appearances on several other panel shows.