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Ze Frank Quotes (1972-)
Artist, King
About Ze Frank
Ze Frank (born Hosea Frank on 31 March 1972, first name IPA: 'ze, rhymes with "say") is an online performance artist and humorist based in Brooklyn, New York.
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Ze Frank quotes.
“Are the new viewers gone yet?”
“Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack quack.”
“Any individual entity that pretends to understand the rules that guide this space is under an illusion.”
“Water boarding: Is that like snowboarding?! http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/05/052406.html.”
“The president said some words, like nouns and verbs. http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_06-15-06”
“'Army of one': when the shit hits the fan, you're on your own.http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/03/032306.html.”
“Don't swim up stream, baby. The future was right where you were. http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/04/040506.html.”
“Just a reminder, what other people think of you is none of your business.http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/04/040506.html.”
“It's complimacated. (sounds like compli-ma-kayted, emphasis on first syllable) http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_06-15-06”
“[T]here's more than one way to skin a cat. But from the cat's perspective, they all suck. http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/05/060206.html.”
“...next time you rake up those leaves realize you're about to jump into a pile of tree shit. http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/10/101906.html.”
“Okay, roll-call, no talking. Benny, Marc; Ethel, Shakina, nice shoes. Bobo twins, anyone seen the Bobo twins? Those Bobo twins.http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_05-30-06”
“Both hurting and happiness make me feel more alive, but as I get older it seems that hurting's the low hanging fruit. So I pick it. http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_06-05-06”
“Generalized statements … which instill nebulous fear without specific information are exactly in line with the goals of terrorism. http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/08/081006.html.”
“in the summertime sometimes i sleep "macho": ah, white t-shirt, no underpants. Sleeping macho looks very attractive on a man. I feel like it helps me breathe. http://www.zefrank.com/thewiki/the_show:_11-16-06”
“Trying to defeat an ideology by killing individuals is like trying to save a marriage with a blowjob. It might buy you some time, but in the end it'll just suck. http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/05/052406.html.”
“The word vagina is a beautiful word, like all words that have v's and g's in them, like gavel, or evangelical. I love vaginas, and evangelicals. I fucking hate gavels though.http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_05-31-06”
“(On airplane etiquette) Although reclining your seat is technically your right, just like free speech if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think you're an asshole. http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_08-23-06”
“[T]errorists are desperate assholes who see no institutionalized recourse to address their grievances, so they resort to random acts of violence in order to instill fear into the general population.http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/the_show:_06-21-06”
“If you don't know what a cat is, it's sort of like a stuffed animal... but with a working asshole. I'll admit that when I went to the pound, I was actually shopping for a never ending box of shit, um, and the cat just came with it. http://www.zefrank.com/thewiki/the_show:_11-16-06”
About Ze Frank
Ze Frank (born Hosea Frank on 31 March 1972, first name IPA: 'ze, rhymes with "say") is an online performance artist and humorist based in Brooklyn, New York.