Robb Wilton Quotes (1881-1957)

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Robb Wilton

About Robb Wilton

Robert Wilton Smith (28 August 1881 – 1 May 1957) was one of the most popular English comedians of the 1930s and 1940s. In his sketches and monologues he usually portrayed work-shy, henpecked husbands or dithering, ineffectual authority figures.

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β€œThe day war broke out, my Missus said to me – she looked at me and she said, "What good are you?"”
β€œ"Well," she said, "All the young fellas'll be getting called up and you'll have to go back to work!"
Ooh – she's got a cruel tongue!”
β€œShe said, "Do you know this Hitler? Have you ever met him?"
I said, "Do I – of course I don't!"
She said, "Well how are you going to know which is him if they do land?"
I said, "Well, I've got a tongue in my head, haven't I?"”
β€œHe said "I'll punch your head!" I said "Whose?" He said "Yours!"
I said "Mine?" He said "Yes!" I said "Oh?"
He said "Want a fight?" I said "Who?" He said "You!"
I said "Me?" He said "Yes!" I said "No!"
So we then came to words, he said "You're a cad!"
I said "Cad?" He said "Yes!" I said "Who?"
He said "Who?" I said "Yes." He said "You!" I said "Oh!"
So of course then I knew.”
β€œShe said,"What are you supposed to do?"
I said, "I'm supposed to stop Hitler's army landing."
She said, "What! – you?"
I said, "No – there's Charlie Evans, Dick Roberts...I said, "There's seven or eight of us, altogether." I said, "We're in a group." I said, "We're on guard in a little hut behind the Dog and Pullet."
She said, "What's the good of being in a little hut behind the Dog and Pullet?" She said, "I suppose that was your idea!"
I said, "Aye, and that Charlie Evans wants to claim it as his!"”

About Robb Wilton

Robert Wilton Smith (28 August 1881 – 1 May 1957) was one of the most popular English comedians of the 1930s and 1940s. In his sketches and monologues he usually portrayed work-shy, henpecked husbands or dithering, ineffectual authority figures.