Ring Lardner Quotes (1885-1933)

“I got a letter the other day asking why I didn't write about baseball no more, as I used to write about nothing else, you might say. Well, friends, I may as well admit that I have kind of lost interest in the old game. A couple of years ago, a ballplayer named Babe Ruth that was a pitcher by birth was made into an outfielder, on account of how he can bust them. And the masterminds that control baseball says to themselves, that if it is home runs that the public wants to see, why, leave us, give them home runs.”

“Now this isn't no reflection on neither of these pitchers which I hope is still friends of mine, but if I was managing a ball club in the American League, I would tell them how to pitch to this bird. I would stand on the mound and throw the first ball to first base and the second ball to second base and the third ball to third base, and then I would turn around and heave the fourth one out in right field, because he couldn't be in all those places at once, and further and more they's a rule that makes a batter stand in the batter's box and if a person pitches in that direction with this guy up why all you can say about them is that they're a sucker.”

“A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.”