Markiplier Quotes (1989-)

“"Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!"”

“"'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?"”

“"Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!"”

“"And now it says 'press B to blow.' Really?"(26-4-2014), Dungeon Nightmares WARNING EXTREMELY SCARY at: 18-10-2019”

“"Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!"”

“"Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway."”

“"'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?"”

“"Why is this good? Why bruh... this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!"”

“[after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You son of a bitch!"”

“"A lot of people try to boil down creation to just one thing and "what are you gonna do next" as if there's always a ladder to climb and it's like, the ladder is what you make for yourself, right?"”

“"Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!"WARNING: EXTREMELY SCARY ”

“"Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!"”

“"If there was just - just - a purple monster sitting in a corner, waiting for me to walk over it, I would shit myself dry. I would absolutely lose all control of my bowels!"”

“"If I can't powerwash a cat, I'm out." Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (July 6, 2021), PowerWash Simulator, work: YouTube”

“"'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry."Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (November 23, 2013), Calm Time | MOST DISTURBING GAME, work: YouTube”