Ali on New Moon (novel)
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“"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested.”
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“"Bella?" "Yes?" She eyed me speculatively. "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"”
“"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"”
“"Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would have been better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find."”
“"I'm going to get you as close as possible, and then you're going to run in the direction I point you. [...] Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me — ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.”