Mort Quotes

“Death is whoever does Death's job.”

“When you're a god, you don't have to have reasons.”

“You don't see people at their best in this job, said Death.”

“Albert glared at him. "Shut up."
"Shutting up right away, sir."”

“"Pardon me for living, I'm sure."
No one gets pardoned for living.”

“You know, people just don't see what their mind tells them isn't there.”

“Wikipedia: Mort”

“Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.”

“"In a figurative sense," he said.
"What does that mean?
"Well, it means no," said Cutwell.”

“"I've never seen Death actually at work."
"Not many have," said Albert. "Not twice, at any rate."”

“It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe.”

“"As simple as that? You didn't use magic?"
"Only common sense. It's a lot more reliable in the long run."”

“There were more than nine hundred known gods on the Disc, and research theologians were discovering more every year.”

“"Sodomy non sapiens," said Albert under his breath.
"What does that mean?"
"Means I'm buggered if I know."”

“What is your name?
'Uh,' said Mort. ‘Mortimer...sir. They call me Mort.'
What a coincidence, said the skull.”

“It wasn't that he was unhelpful, but he had the kind of vague, cheerful helpfulness that serious men soon learn to dread.”

“"My granny says that dying is like going to sleep," Mort added, a shade hopefully.
I wouldn't know. I have done neither.”

“"Am I going to be crowned or not?" she said icily. "I've got to die a queen! It'd be terrible to be dead and common!"”

“Resolution was good for the moral fiber; the only trouble was the fiber didn't appreciate the sacrifices he was making for it.”

“"You like it?" he said to Mort, in pretty much the same tone of voice people used when they said to St George, "You killed a what?"”