You Can't Do That on Television Quotes

“El Capitano: That's one sneeeeeky keed!”

“Mr. Schidtler: Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to me?!!!”

“Kids at Barth's: What/Who do you think's in the burgers?
Barth: D'oh, I heard that!”

“Wikipedia: You Can't Do That on Television”

“Kid: [During the dungeon sketches] But you can't do this, this is torture!
Nasti: I know!”

“El Capitano: [During the firing squad sketches] Ready, aim...
Kid: Wait a minute, wait a minute, stop the execution!
El Capitano: What is it this time?!”

“Kid: [After outsmarting one of the adult characters] Sometimes it's so easy, I'm ashamed of myself. [On occasion, the adult characters would also use this phrase after outsmarting the children.]”

“One Kid: Either [Insert out-of-the-ordinary occurrence or unusual actions of one particular character here], or this has got to be...
All the Kids: ...just the Introduction to the Opposites!”