Garfield Quotes

“Garfield: I hate Mondays.
Jon: Hey Garfield! It's Mondayǃ ːGarfieldː And people who love that I hate Mondays. ː(21 Jun 2004)”

“(Garfield is seen with Pooky.)
Garfield: Oh no! Pooky's broken a stitch! (He starts crying, then stops for a moment.) When I diet, I get emotional.
(8 Apr 1982)”

“(Garfield is seen watching TV)
Announcer: This week on "Unfinished Sentence Theater," we will...Thanks for watch...Tune in again next... (Garfield screams)
(26 May 1999)”

“(Garfield is shown standing by the fridge.)
Garfield: I'm strong. I can handle this diet. (He begins sobbing.) Then why do I feel like I've just lost my best friend?
(1 Jul 1982)”

“(Garfield chases Odie up a tree.)
Jon: Odie! Dogs can't climb trees!
Garfield: It's amazing what one can do when one doesn't know what one can't do.
(19 Jan 1982)”

“Jon: Hey, Garfield, how are you going to get out of that tree?
Garfield: (bounces off of Jon and Odie's heads) Why, by using my head... and Jon's, and Odie's.
(21 Jan 1982)”

“(Garfield is seen up the tree)
Garfield: What does Garfield The Cat do when he's stuck up a tree? Why what any honorable cat would do, of course.
(He starts crying for attention)
(7 Jul 1981)”

“(Odie is howling outside.)
Jon: (inside the house) Odie! Cut that out!
''(Garfield is also heard howling... by the fridge. Jon does a face-palm when seeing this.)
(27 May 1982)”

“(Jon and Garfield are outside)
Jon: Isn't this better than watching TV in a stuffy room? This is reality!
Garfield: Ummm... so it's like a documentary?
Jon: (irritated) It's called "OUTSIDE"!”

“(Jon sets up Garfield's food bowl)
Jon: They've improved your cat food. It doesn't look and smell as disgusting as it used to.
Garfield: (walking away on all fours) Then it isn't cat food.
(29 Apr 2004)”

“(Jon is on the phone)
Jon: Hello? Yes, this is he...A date?...With me?! This Friday night?! Pinch me, I must be dreaming!
(Garfield pinches him, and then Jon wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming.)
(13 May 1999)”

“''(Garfield is riding on Odie's back, holding on to his ears. Garfield suddenly disappears, with only Odie remaining. Garfield is then shown in a tree with his feet off the ground and a branch stuck in his mouth.)
Garfield: Mmmph.
(29 Jul 1981)”

“(Garfield is seen sitting on a bench)
Garfield: So what if I'm lost. Big deal. I can handle it. Cats are adventurous. Cats are independent. Cats are strong... (Garfield unexpectedly ends up sobbing) I want my teddy bear!
(2 Feb 1981)”

“(Garfield is shown standing by a hamburger.)
Garfield: I shall now use sheer willpower to resist eating that hamburger. (He tries not to eat the hamburger, but then ends up crying.)
Jon: I'm beginning to worry about Garfield.
(9 Sep 1982)”

“Jon: I'm bored.
Garfield You're also boring. (smiles) You do it all!
(21 Nov 2000) http://garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2000-ga001121”

“(Garfield is lying in bed and holding a stick with his face on it)
Garfield: Monday check. (A small pie hits the face) HA! (He gets up from the bed, as a huge pie is about to hit Garfield in the back) Fooled you!
(18 Jan 1993)”

“Jon: Somewhere out there is the woman for me!… hiding no doubt.
Garfield: That was MY line!
(29 Apr 2002) http://garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2002-ga020429”

“Jon: I'm in the mood to party!… Or fold laundry.
Garfield: There's little difference in Jon's world.
(15 Aug 2006) http://garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2006-ga060815”

“Jon: Meow. Meow. Okay, what did I just say to you, Garfield?
Garfield: You said "Meow," you idiot.
(14 Jan 1998) http://www.garfield.com/comics/comic_archives_strip.html?1998-ga980114”

“Jon: (to the phone) I may not be rich, but remember this: money can't buy happiness.
Garfield: You rent it?!
(8 May 2006) http://garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2006-ga060508”