Josh Billings Quotes (1818-1885)

Writer

About Josh Billings

Henry Wheeler Shaw (21 April 1818 – 14 October 1885), most famous under his pen name Josh Billings, was an American humorist. He was perhaps the second most famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States in the 2nd half of the 19th century, after Mark Twain, although his reputation has not fared so well with later generations.

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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Josh Billings quotes.

“Poverty is the stepmother of genius.”
Josh Billings
“Thare iz but phew people in this world underrated.”
Josh Billings
“Yung man, don't grind yure scythe all on one side!”
“Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.”
“Nature never makes blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.”
Josh Billings
“I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.”
“I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.”
Josh Billings
“The wheel that squeaks the loudest
Is the one that gets the grease.”
“Politeness iz often wasted, but it iz a good and cheap mistake tew make.”
Josh Billings
“I beleave in the universal salvashun ov men, but I want tew pick the men.”
“Tew bring up a child in the wa he should go—travel that wa yourself.”
“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.”
“As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.”
Josh Billings
“Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallow.”
Josh Billings
“Rather than not hav faith in enny thing, i am willing tew be beat 9 times out ov 10.”
Josh Billings
“When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, then i am happy.”
“Misanthropy don't pay--thare aint no man living whoze hate the world cares one cuss for.”
Josh Billings
“If I had 4 fust rate dogs i would name the best one "Doubtful" and the other 3 "Useless".”
“I hope i shall never hav so much reputashun that i shan't feel obliged to be alwus civil.”
“7 per cent haz no rest, nor no religion, it works nights, and Sundays, and even wet days.”
Josh Billings
“Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, But four times he who gets his blow in fust”
Josh Billings
“Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites mor wonder than a star in the heavens.”
“Prejudice iz a hous plant which iz very apt tew wither if yu take it out doors amungst pholks.”
Josh Billings
“Their is one advantage in a plurality of wifes; tha fite each other, insted ov their husbands.”
Josh Billings
“I don't rekoleckt now ov ever hearing ov two dogs fiteing unless thare waz a man or two around.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes by Topic

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Josh Billings on Genius 6 quotes

“Genius learns from nature; talent from books.”
Josh Billings
View all 6 quotes on Genius →

Josh Billings on Common sense 2 quotes

“Wit, without sense, iz like a razor without a handle”
Josh Billings
View all 2 quotes on Common sense →

Josh Billings on Forgiveness

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Revenge

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Victory

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Wealth

“The wealth ov a person should be estimated, not bi the amount he haz, but bi the use he makes ov it.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Advice

“What the world wants iz good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Lightning

“Don't mistake vivacity for wit, thare iz about az much difference az thare iz between lightning and a lightning bug.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Fireflies

“Don't mistake vivacity for wit, thare iz about az much difference az thare iz between lightning and a lightning bug.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Example

“What the world wants iz [sic] good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.”

Josh Billings on Wisdom

“Men are often praised for their sagacity, but all the foresight in the world can't tell a double-yoked egg until it is broken.”
Josh Billings

Josh Billings on Predictability

“Men are often praised for their sagacity, but all the foresight in the world can't tell a double-yoked egg until it is broken.”

Josh Billings on Foxes

“There iz this difference between genius and common sense in a fox: Common sense is governed by circumstances, but circumstances is governed by genius.”
Josh Billings

What Josh Billings Said About Others

Discover personal opinions Josh Billings shared regarding contemporaries.

Josh Billings on Beverly Sills

“In youth, we run into difficulties. In old age, difficulties run into us.”
Josh Billings

About Josh Billings

Henry Wheeler Shaw (21 April 1818 – 14 October 1885), most famous under his pen name Josh Billings, was an American humorist. He was perhaps the second most famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States in the 2nd half of the 19th century, after Mark Twain, although his reputation has not fared so well with later generations.