Joan Rivers Quotes (1933-2014)

“It’s really just Old Yeller with a wrinkled Jennifer Aniston. Only in this film, the wrong dog dies.”

“I hate Jennifer Aniston. She keeps making the same romantic “comedy” movie over and over and over again and it’s always not funny, not funny, not funny.”

“I hate Tom Cruise. First of all, he’s always smiling. No 5' 8" man, not even one who lives on a diet of Ritalin and gin, is happy like that all the time. He’s always got this shit-eating grin on his face, like he just got a note from his managers telling him that Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman are extending their confidentiality agreements. Second, in TV interviews Tom laughs inappropriately and much too vociferously at non-humorous declarative statements, which is ironic because in real life he can’t take a fucking joke at all.”

“No one loved life, laughter and a good time more than Joan. We would have dinner and laugh and gossip and I always left the table smiling. She was a brassy, often outrageous and hilarious performer who made millions laugh. In private, she was the picture of elegance and class. I will miss her.”