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James Berardinelli Quotes (1967-)
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About James Berardinelli
James Berardinelli (born September 25, 1967) is an American online film critic.
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βParodies are hard to do well, as is shown by the mediocrity of so many recent attempts. No matter how ripe a genre is for satirizing, unless you know how to do it, there are no guarantees.β
βSince 1977, there have been many science fiction movies, but none has managed to equal [A New Hope' s] blend of adventure, likable characters, and epic storytelling.β
βIf you thought it was impossible for a film to contain less effective comedy than Date Movie, here's evidence to the contrary.β
βThe Phantom Menace is not a masterpiece, but it's an example of how imagination, craftsmanship, and technological bravura can fashion superior entertainment out of something that is far from flawless.β
βThe Pink Panther is supposed to use humor to uplift. Instead, I departed this movie feeling depressed. Lifeless comedies can suck the energy out of a viewer, especially when they sully the image of an cinematic icon.β
βIt's really two movies crammed into one, the first of which is a lot better than the second. Spider-Man 3 starts out strong but before it finishes, many viewers will desperately wish it had called it quits an hour earlier.β
βBlade Runner is a rare science fiction movie so full of material that pages can be written about it without scratching the surface. A review like this can provide little more than an overview. A detailed exploration of the movie, its style, and its mysteries requires dedication that only someone immersed in Blade Runner lore can provide.β
βImagine, if you will, the dispiriting experience of listening to an awful cover of one of your favorite songs. That's how I felt sitting through Die Another Day, the 20th official outing for [James Bond]. This is a train wreck of an action film β¦ What's missing from this movie? Any real sense that we're watching 007 rather than a generic spy in a tuxedo.β
βI can't figure out who might appreciate this movie. Those who are expecting to sit back, stop thinking, and watch cool wall-to-wall battles are going to be disappointed. Those who yearn for a movie to recapture the long-lost horror and glory of the original creatures are going to be borderline suicidal. β¦ Simply put, [Alien vs. Predator: Requiem] is trash.β
βDie Hard represents the class of modern action pictures and the standard by which they must be judged. Few films falling into the "mindless entertainment" genre have as much going for them as this movie. Not only is it a thrill-a-minute ride, but it has one of the best film villains in recent memory, a hero everyone can relate to, dialogue that crackles with wit, and a lot of very impressive pyrotechnics.β
βAlthough The Terminator is arguably the more visionary of the first two films, [Terminator 2] is the more visually and viscerally satisfying. It's an exhausting experience and, even 18 years after its release (as I write this review), few films have matched it within the science fiction genre for sheer white-knuckle exhilaration.β
βIt's mind-boggling to consider that movies this bad are actually committed to film. The poor quality of The Pest in almost every category β humor, intelligence, creativity, and just plain entertainment value β ranks it somewhere between a bad infomercial and a local cable newscast. Rarely do I consider the act of seeing a movie to be a chore, but this kind of experience is the exception - Directed By Paul Miller.β
βWith Batman & Robin, the fourth entry in the recent Batman movie series, the profitable franchise appears poised to take a nosedive. This film, which places yet another actor in the batsuit, has all the necessary hallmarks of a sorry sequel β pointless, plodding plotting; asinine action; clueless, comatose characterization; and dumb dialogue. β¦ Batman & Robin moves at a dizzying pace, yet goes absolutely nowhere.β
βIt's rare that the sequel to a good movie lives up to expectations. Such is the case with Die Hard 2, the somewhat-muddled but still entertaining return of Bruce Willis' John McClane. Fortunately, the original Die Hard was good enough that there's room for the second installment to be enjoyable while still not matching the pace or possessing the flair of its predecessor.β
βThose who delight in bad movies and enjoy producing their own unfilmed versions of Mystery Science Theater 3000 may gain a measure of semi-masochistic enjoyment out of Van Helsing. There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good."β
βThere's good news and bad news about 2 Fast 2 Furious, the moronic follow-up to The Fast and the Furious and a contender for the worst movie of 2003. The good news is that it's better, albeit marginally, than Freddy Got Fingered. The bad news is that it's 15 minutes longer.β
βI could start this review by stating that Dumb and Dumberer lives up to its name, or by calling it stupid, moronic, and idiotic, but I believe that approach is a trap, since a movie like this might relish being the object of such bland invectives. Instead, let me try a few that can't possibly be misconstrued as twisted praise: unfunny, boring, torturous, and unwatchable. β¦ [N]o movie could be more aptly compared to raw sewage than this film - Directed By Troy Miller.β
βTransformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make a ton of money, Michael Bay will be lauded as the greatest director of our generation, and the accountants at Paramount will have their second collective orgasm in as many months. As for me, I will try desperately not to weep β not so much for what the success of a movie like this means to motion pictures, but for the simple fact that I'm going to have to do this all over again in two or three years for Transformers 3.β
βAfter the second Die Hard, Bruce Willis stated he would never do another. He should have stayed firm in his resolve. If quality is any indication (and it may be, with all the available blockbusters), box office returns will be disappointing this time around and, if nothing else, that will do to John McClane what dozens of assorted bad guys couldn't manage: kill him.β
βAside from a couple of signature flourishes, there's nothing to mark Paycheck as the product of acclaimed action director John Woo. In fact, there's little about this movie that makes it worth anyone's time and money. With a script that waffles between being hilariously absurd and insultingly stupid, and action scenes that won't cause anyone's pulse to skip a beat, Paycheck is less appealing than a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking.β
βLegally Blonde 2 should never have been made. It is a cinematic abomination β a source of embarrassment for everyone involved. There have been worse films this year, but none has been marketed as this fun-loving and upbeat. Worthwhile moments are few and far between, and Reese Witherspoon's incandescent charm, which was one of the original Legally Blonde' s saving graces, is so bright that it creates a glare. There's such a thing as being too perky.β
βIf you're in the mood for something that's completely visceral and mindless (really mindless β the plot is a joke, filled with contrivances and coincidences), this movie will fit the bill. Parts of it are excruciatingly bad, but there are numerous examples of well-directed action that, on balance, compensate for the worst gaffes. This is a poor man's Die Hard. It has the explosions, gunplay, and spectacular stunts, but little of the wit and intelligence. In other words, it's a typical summer action flick.β
βThis is the fourth film from hot Swedish director Lukas Moodysson. Two of his previous three movies, Show Me Love and Lilya 4-Ever, made my year-end Top 10 lists. So it was with great anticipation that I settled into a seat on the first Friday night of the 2004 Toronto Film Festival to see A Hole in My Heart. 98 minutes later, I felt like I had been dragged through a vat of raw sewage laced with Sominex - Directed by Lukas Moodysson.β
James Berardinelli Quotes by Topic
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James Berardinelli on Aliens (film) 2 quotes
βWhen it comes to the logical marriage of action, adventure, and science fiction, few films are as effective or accomplished as Aliens, and there's nothing on the market (either in theaters or on video store shelves) that will leave you as thoroughly exhausted.β
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James Berardinelli on Star Kid
James Berardinelli on I Origins
βHis use of metaphors, especially those involving eyes, is heavy-handed and obvious. (The title being a prime example.)β
James Berardinelli on Dogville
β'''''Dogville'' isn't for everyone, but there's some intellectually stimulating conversation fodder for those with the patience to navigate the film's rough terrain.'''β
James Berardinelli on North (1994 film)
βThe premise of North sounds flat, the previews look insipid, and, while the movie doesn't turn out nearly as bad as either would lead you to believe, North is still a lackluster production.β
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James Berardinelli on Γon Flux (film)
βThe ideas underlying Aeon Flux's plot are the film's strength, and the filmmakers deserve some credit for doing more than paying lip service to them. Director Karyn Kusama (Girlfight) has a sense of visual flair. Many aspects of Aeon Flux's look could have been derivative, but are not.β
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James Berardinelli on Wonder Woman (2017 film)
βWhile having a female director perhaps gives Wonder Woman a subtly different perspective, the real strengths of this production are its lead actors, the period piece setting, and an unexpected emotional resonance that one doesnβt expect from a popcorn movie. β¦Β Wonder Womanβs central premise β that the main character, Diana (Gal Gadot), is the demigod daughter of the immortal Zeus and the amazon Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen) β is absurd (although no more than Marvelβs Thor) but the screenplay, credited to Allan Heinberg, develops this fantasy-flavored alternate reality in such a way that we buy into it.β
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James Berardinelli on The Fifth Estate (film)
βAssange has gone to great lengths to discredit the movie. Considering that its portrayal of him is less than flattering, that's not surprising. The story closely follows the source material but there are open questions about the factual accuracy of those books. Condon uses a late scene in the movie to address Assange's criticisms by having the character, as played by Cumberbatch, complain about "the upcoming Wikileaks movie." It's a curious moment that seems to have been incorporated as a concession. It's the first time I can recall (at least in a serious-minded film) a character openly referring to the movie in which he is appearing. Cinematic recursion.β
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About James Berardinelli
James Berardinelli (born September 25, 1967) is an American online film critic.