Beetlejuice Quotes (1988-2024)

“[about Beryl] Don't mind her. She's still upset because someone dropped a house on her sister.”

“Thank you. Thank you. That, is why I won't do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won't.”

“[to Otho] Not so fast, round boy. We're gonna have some laughs! [Kisses Otho on the cheek and laughs]”

“Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.https://doyouremember.com/43467/9-favorite-beetlejuice-quotes”

“[realizing that Adam and Barbara are ghosts] The funeral. God. You guys really are dead.”

“I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down and I'll...chew on a dog! [howls]”

“[reading obituary] Ooh-la-la, what have we got here? The Maitlands. [laughs] Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too! [more laughing]”

“Well...what do we got here tonight, kids? [sees the Maitlands] Oooo, well, we got the, uh, Maitlands. Uh, I think, uh, they've had enough "exorcise" for tonight. [mimes a golf swing and the Maitlands fall onto the floor]”

“YOU BUNCHA LOSERS!!! YOU'RE WORKIN' WITH A PROFESSIONAL HERE!!! [kicks over a tree; quietly observes it for a moment] NICE FUCKIN' MODEL!!!! [grabs his crotch and squeezes it twice with a bike horn sound]”

“Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax. I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I WILL GO INSANE AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!!!”

“[calmly] Ah, well, I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, [getting aggressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTIN' FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKIN' TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! [calmly] You think I'm qualified?”

“[last lines; talking to a witch doctor] Pardon me. [referring to Harry the Hunter] Did you do that? Nice work. Lemme ask you somethin'. How do you get 'em so small? [Distracting the witch doctor] There goes Elvis! Yo, King! [witch doctor looks away, he switches his ticket with witch doctor's] Well, looks like I'm next. Good thing, too. ( [as the witch doctor gets some powder] I've gotta do a photoshoot for GQ in about an hour and a half. They've been after me for months. Doin' some kinda underwear deal. I don't know what... [annoyed with having his ticket being switched, witch doctor sprinkles shrinking powder on him] Whoa, hey! What are you doin'? Stop it. You're messin' up my hair. C'mon! Whoa! Whoa! Stop it! Whoa! This might be a good look for me.”