A Thousand Clowns Quotes

“Barry Gordon — Nick”

“Gene Saks — Leo Herman”

“A Thousand Clowns”

“You might call Nick a bastard... or a little bastard, depending on how whimsical you feel at the time.”

“Martin Balsam — Arnold Burns”

“Jason Robards — Murray Burns”

“If things aren't funny then they're exactly what they are; and then they're like a long dental appointment.”

“William Daniels — Albert Amundson”

“Aw, Sandy, that's the most you should expect from life, a really good apology for all the things you won't get.”

“Internet Movie Database (IMDb): A Thousand Clowns”

“Barbara Harris — Dr. Sandra Markowitz”

“Murray, you've got a rotten reputation. Even these guys weren't easy to grab. Why do you have to build your own personal blacklist? Why can't you just get blacklisted as a Communist like everybody else?”

“Irving R. Feldman's birthday is my own personal national holiday. I did not open it up for the public. He is proprietor of perhaps the most distinguished kosher delicatessen in our neighborhood, and, as such, I hold the day of his birth in reverence.”

“My simple child reaction of what you did is that you are not funny. Funnier than you is even Stuart Schlossman, who is my friend, and is eleven, and puts walnuts in his mouth and makes noises. What is not funny is to call us names, and what is mostly not funny is how sad you are, and I'd feel sorry for you if it wasn't for how dull you are. And those are the worst-tasting potato chips that I've ever tasted. And that's my opinion from the blue, blue sky.”