Vernon God Little Quotes

“The sheriff puffs up like he just discovered fucken relativity.”

“A learning: deep shit sweetens your plans like crazy.”

“This ink would survive Armageddon, I swear. Cockroaches, and this fucken fingerprint ink.”

“Fate always pays attention to what you think, then slams it up your fucken ass.”

“"We could turn your situation around three hundred and sixty degrees..."
"Learn some fucken math."”

“Wikipedia: Vernon God Little”

“I don't have an answer. I just blow some air through my cheeks and shuffle away, to fucken Mexico, via my room.”

“I stand insulated from my world by the buzzing tequila-ozone of what I just did. Lies scatter around me like ants.”

“Facts may seem black and white by the time they hit your TV screen, but professional teams sift through mountains of gray to get them there.”

“Next thing you know, I'm halfway out of the building in Palmyra's gravity-field. You just can't argue with this much modern woman, I tell you.”

“She said Mom closed up the house one day, turned the oven on full, and sat by its open door. Apparently, it's still a Cry For Help, even though our oven's electric.”

“My face caves in. This is how I'm being grown up, this is my fucken struggle for learnings and glory. A gumbo of lies, cellulite, and fucken 'Wuv'.”

“But the pessimist in me says, 'Kid, forget vacations, what yez need is a cake wid a fuckin bomb in it.' My pessimist has a New York accent, don't ask me why. I ignore it.”

“There's the learning, O Partner: that you're cursed when you realize true things, because then you can't act with the full confidence of dumbness anymore.”

“Mom's best friend is called Palmyra. Everybody calls her Pam. She's fatter than Mom, so Mom feels good around her. Mom's other friends are slimmer. They're not her best friends.”

“The official ushers me to a desk, and sits behind it, all straight-backed, like he's the president of South America or something, like the borderline is the crack of his fucken ass.”

“I take off my shirt. My skin is mostly healed now, from my art project. Tattooed in big blue letters across my chest are the words 'Me ves y sufres'—'See me and suffer.' ”

“One learning, though: my big flaw is fear. In a world where you're supposed to be a psycho, I just didn't yell loud enough to get ahead. I was too darn embarrassed to play God.”

“A bright-eyed lady with short gray hair and bifocal glasses glides behind the tallest desk. Judge Helen E Gurie says the sign. Her swivel chair rattles politely when she sits. The Chair of God.”

“School never teaches you about this mangled human slime, it slays me. You spend all your time learning the capital of Surinam while these retards carve their initials in your back.”