Pudd'nhead Wilson Quotes

“Tell the truth or trump — but get the trick.”

“As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.”

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.”

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

“He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.”

“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething.”

“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”

“It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.”

“Wikipedia: Pudd'nhead Wilson”

“Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June bug than an old bird of paradise.”

“Wikisource: Pudd'nhead Wilson”

“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time.”

“Remark of Dr. Baldwin's, concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

“All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" — a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.”

“When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.”