Guards! Guards! Quotes

“Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire. (p. 147)”

“To the axeman, all supplicants are the same height. (p. 5)”

“Thank you for coming to see me. Don't hesitate to leave. (p. 43)”

“Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography— (p. 302)”

“It must be something about high office. The altitude sends people mad. (p. 286)”

“The last rats of Brother Watchtower's self-confidence fled the sinking ship of courage. (p. 201)”

“Wikipedia: Guards! Guards!”

“Vimes opened his eyes. There was a moment of empty peace before memory hit him like a shovel. (p. 22)”

“All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional. (p. 25)”

“"What's up, Sarge? Do you want to live forever?"
"Dunno. Ask me again in five hundred years." (p. 293)”

“The guard gave him what could loosely be called an old-fashioned look. It was practically neolithic. (p. 32)”

“Perhaps the magic would last. Perhaps it wouldn't. But then, what does? (p. 355; closing words) To be placed:”

“Going Up in the World is a metaphor, which I am learning about, it is like Lying but more decorative. (p. 153)”

“Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive. (p. 188)”

“'No one knows how to do officering, Fred. That's why they're officers. If they'd knew anything, they'd be sergeants.'”

“By and large medical assistance was nonexistent and people had to die inefficiently, without the aid of doctors. (p. 136)”

“"When you really need them the most," he said, "million-to-one chances always crop up. Well-known fact." (p. 292)”

“It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing. (p. 165)”

“Up in the gloom the heads of dead animals haunted the walls. The Ramkins seemed to have endangered more species than an ice age. (p. 349)”

“"Have another drink, not-Corporal Nobby?" said Sergeant Colon unsteadily.
"I do not mind if I do, not-Sgt. Colon," said Nobby. (p. 99)”